, ,


This is my last post for Teen Domestic Violence Month and I can’t leave the discussion without expressing my concern about how dating can exasperate opportunities for abuse.

I have started writing this at least a dozen times, I cannot find words that do not sound like a lecture. I truly do not want this to be a lecture, or really even an argument as the title conveys. But if you knew that doing something a certain way could cause someone to get hurt, you would speak up, wouldn’t you?

Well here’s my speak up…really just a list of statements and questions you should ask yourself, and talk with your parents and your friends about. You should know what your boundaries and stand is before you find the person of your interest.

Things happen when you are alone with another person that don’t happen in groups.

Things happen in groups that don’t happen when you are alone with another person.

I realize how generalized these two statements are. But here’s the thing, if you made a list of good and bad items for each statement, which way would be the best way to really get to know a person of interest? Isn’t that the real goal of dating? Here are a few starting questions, and please, add your own.

  1. What activities would you find yourself doing if you chose one over the other?
  2. How can a group help encourage or curb behaviors that would benefit a relationship?
  3. How could one on one dating open you up to pressure to abandon your boundaries?

Here are the rules for answering the questions:

  1. You have to be honest with yourself about your dating goals and your maturity level.
  2. You have to desire healthy relationships.
  3. You have to love and respect yourself.
  4. You should make it a priority to respect the person of your interest.
  5. You have to understand that once a relationship takes on abusive tendencies, it’s difficult if not impossible, to turn it around and end up with that person in a healthy relationship.
  6. While you’re at this, go visit a great web site like LoveIsRespect.org and identify healthy and abusive dating behaviors. You should know, there is power and confidence in knowing.

Well, I hope you don’t find this too argumentative, I want you to know and make choices, because if you don’t make them, they can and probably will be made for you and then you could find yourself in an abusive relationship or worse.

If I can pray with you or answer questions, I hope you will contact me. Thanks for stopping by.