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My ex relocated a small file cabinet from our home. By court order, it reappeared on my porch one afternoon. Someone had failed to specify, “with contents.” It was empty.

Several missing items from inside were a pain to replace, and some of them were irreplaceable. I got one shot at the file cabinet and was reminded of a hard fact. My ex complied to the letter of the law when he had to, but it was actually a game, to put me through the ringer, whenever possible. Oh, that might be a good definition of abuse.

I unfortunately didn’t carry the lesson over to other areas, like drops offs and pick ups. I allowed far too much drama to occur in my driveway, for too many years. It wasn’t until I was remarried, and my ex tried unsuccessfully to get my husband into a fight in the driveway, that I made some changes.

Changes I should had made many years before, but somehow I still had a blind spot to abuse around me.

If drop offs and pick ups are stressful, angry, or abusive, they should be relocated to a safe place.

A public place.

In our case, we used a local fire station, at the end of our street. The bay doors were almost always open, and there were always people around. People whom my ex was inclined to behave in front of. And, I have seen exchanges at grocery stores and the police station too.

Even though I remained inside my home and tried to avoid any contact or drama, it seemed inevitable to occur when exchanges were made in the driveway.

My prayer is that you are not having this issue, but if you are, work at a solution. You do not need to be subjected to further abuse nor do the children, just because you have to exchange precious cargo.

If I can pray for you or help with ideas, please let me know.

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